Reflections of a Half- Centenarian

“Those were the days my friend, we thought they’d never end
We’d sing and dance forever and a day
We’d live the life we choose, we’d fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way…

Just tonight I stood before the tavern nothing seemed the way it used to be
In the glass I saw a strange reflection, was that lonely woman really me…..”

This song was first popularized in  1968, when I was younger so much younger than today.  That time I liked the song because of it’s beat- not so much for it’s meaning. I could not relate to the story  and the feelings it could invoke then.  Little did I know that the older we get, the more the lyrics of this song take on its meaning.  So to my younger, so much younger friends, allow me to get sentimental.

I’m not yet a half-centenarian but before the year ends… sigh… ! My consolation though is, “Do I look like it?” I guess the answer would be relative coz’ it would depend on the eye of the beholder.  But please make me happy, give me an honest answer.   HAHAHA!

At this point in time, I reflect: WHAT HAVE I BEEN DURING THE FIRST HALF OF MY LIFE?”

For one, I have managed to stay singular.  Thanks to all the men who did not pursue me with all their mights, with all their minds and with all their hearts.  LOL!!!  Now I am an Auntie to a dozen of nephews/nieces.  Oh! I wonder who among these dear darlings would someday be like their great, great Auntie. Though I hope all of them will have their own families one day, I wouldn’t blame them if they choose my way of life.  See it has its advantages and of course I’m happy being ME.. (All By Myself).

Yes! I’m single, almost half a century-young but I have surrogate children, a lot of them, in fact.  And the number continues to grow.  They are my second family now.  Oh, I remember about three years ago when we were dining out, that was my nth birthday.  That was the time I revealed my real age and that was the time I saw the surprise in their faces.  “What?  You mean you’re older than our moms?  So, from now on, we’ll call you Mommy.” That’s the story of the Mommy-ness.

Though I have retired from work much earlier than what is expected,  I could say that at this point I have gained financial freedom. I guess this has to do with putting your money on the right place, on good investments, that is.  And I thank God for his daily provision now that I am not financially productive.  Most people had been asking why I retired so early in life, when things have been going on so well with the last job.  I realized there are still a lot of things I wanted to do. And these, I can do only if I move out of my comfort zone. If I had to live my life all over again, I want to take more chances. I want to climb more mountains and swim more rivers. I want to be more visible and share more of myself, etc., etc.  And these things I can not do had I stayed with the job.

Some people though assumed that it has something to do with the so-called midlife crisis.  Hmmm… I believe the right term would be the midlife quest.

Most people find me as one happy soul.  Hmmm…. at midlife, I stand at a crossroad weighing which path to take:

  • still waiting for the right person to came along, somebody take care of me.. LOL!
  • to study again, re-invent myself
  • another job
  • finding my purpose in life
  • something else to change
  • etc., etc.

At midlife I start asking myself, “Where do I go from here? How do I prepare myself for being really old? Who will take care of me then?, etc., etc.

For some of my quest, I’ve found the answers, but for the rest, I’m still on a search.  As I’ve said at the start of this blog, allow me to be sentimental.

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