The Ingredients and Language of Apology…

In our life, we may have hurt other people unintentionally.   At times, we say “I’m sorry,” just to make peace but never really meant it.   Most are more concerned with getting the end-result, that is forgiveness or perhaps, just to clear one’s name or make peace.

There are also times that we fail to apologize when we should have. Our mind set: Time heals all wounds.

I’d say however that it’s never too late to say, I’m sorry.   A longstanding grudge can sometimes be mended with a simple, sincere apology.

Here, I offer some ingredients on how to repair broken relationships.

1. Acknowledgement – “I’m sorry” – Admitting that you have hurt the other person.

2. Responsibility – “I was wrong” – Humbling yourself by owning the act of hurting the other person.

3. Resolution – “What do you want me to do about it?” – Letting the wronged person know you’re willing to take action to mend the situation . With this, you may have to offer reparations that go beyond an apology.

4. Promise – “I promise not to do it again” – Repeating your transgression negates an apology. It can permanently destroy trust and end a relationship.

5. Asking for forgiveness – ” Will you forgive me?”

5. Timing – Timing is of importance especially when it comes to saying sorry.   Allow the other person to sort out hurt feelings.   Give her/him a chance to get angry at you because of the offense and give yourself enough time to digest the pain or humiliation you’ve caused.   That way, when it’s time to apologize, you can discuss more clearly what happened and what need to be done.

Apologies are powerful. They can repair and restore a relationship.

I guess it’s about time that we do our share in making this world a better place to live in.   Offer apology where it is needed.  Make peace not only with others but with yourself as well.


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