To a Sunset Friend

The first time we met, I easily noticed your smile.  I thought it was clean and beautiful, I believed then it was coming from the heart.   I admired you because even at such a young age, I saw in you the strength and vision of a grown man.  You were far beyond your years; you seem to excel from others in your generation; and you had achieved too much too soon.  You amazed me even more for you would rise above your challenges and emerged to be the better person.

Our relationship went deeper (or so I thought) when you called me using one of the sweetest sounds every woman would like to hear from a younger person she considers one of her own. You may not be aware of it but you added colour to my life. We had fun together and we experienced life’s ups and downs together. In years, you brought me to a world far beyond my ordinary.  As you told me your story, I came to know you better and I also saw the confused soul, the hurt heart and the child within.

Yes, we viewed some things from different perspectives but everything went fine between us. We understood where we are coming from.  Until one time we had a big drift and we had a falling off.  We’ve had a barrage of exchange of unpleasantries.  Then you texted: “I guess I really can’t understand mature women.  It seems I hurt them even if I don’t intend to.  Don’t worry you’ll be the last.  I will never be friends with someone your age ever again. I’m very sorry again for everything and I hope you can forgive me, or better if you also forget me…. Thanks for being a so called “MOM.” I still have not and will not read your emails. Expect this to be my last text…”

Perhaps this is the last of sunsets we viewed together

I know that when people get close, it is inevitable that they would hurt each other knowingly and unknowingly; and this may cause them to fall apart.  Some reconciled because they talk about the issue, admit their fault in the story and make amends. Others don’t because they can’t find it in their pride to make amends. Still some simply refuse to make moves to reconcile.

I tried to understand you and clarify things between us but you wouldn’t talk to me because you said you were still hurting. I gave you the space even if I was hurting too. For almost a year, did you know that every time you ignore me I not only shed tears, I also died from within?  You avoided me as if I were a plague. No one has ever hurt me this way before.

Sunset friend, you’d never really understand others if you choose not to understand them. I won’t force you to read my emails for that just shows you wouldnt realy bother to understand and you look at the situation only from your point of view.  Oh dear sunset, there are other perspectives not just yours.

I realized now that there’s no hope for reconciliation, hence I backed-off and accepted that you have turned into a heart of stone.  I surrendered all of my hurts to God and slowly tried to forget you and all memories of you.

Just when I thought you were already parked at the back of my mind, one day I would receive a message from someone who wants to meet and talk with me.  Did you know that even if I have already erased your number from my mobile, I would still recognize that the message came from you?  Did you know that my heart skipped a bit because of one simple message?

And so we talked but I guessed we didn’t really talk. As if by mutual understanding, everything’s ok once more, that’s how it is between friends, right?  Suddenly, the world seemed beautiful again and I told myself, I will never waste this chance for another friendship, I’ll take care of this wonderful friendship and that this friendship would last a lifetime.

I know that disappointments and frustrations may still occur but I’ve decided I’d  forgive because I genuinely care for you and don’t want to lose a friend in you. However, after some time, I noticed the same pattern replaying itself: the disappointments, the hurts, the insensitivities Then, I realized you really didn’t care and respect my feelings. Did you know how my heart ached to be so-called friends with someone who hurts me repeatedly; sometimes I think you do it intentionally? Dear sunset, a friendship is a partnership. It only works if both people are willing to work at the friendship.  I’m tired of working at it solely.

Though I wanted our friendship to last a lifetime, I have to accept that not every friend is meant to be here for life. Perhaps ours is one of the statistics.

Ending a friendship is not easy for me but it’s better to end this now rather than hurt myself even more.  A person who has become insensitive to a friend’s sensitivity isn’t worth keeping! At this point, I bid our friendship GOODBYE!

Thanks, because at one point you were a good friend and I hope you also considered me as one. Perhaps you just weren’t meant to be in my life forever.

Whatever happens though, I want you to know that I always want the best for you, my sunset friend. May all you dreams come true.

In virtually all person-to-person relationships disappointments can be lessened, setbacks can be regained, and little annoyances can be brushed off, when one stops and realizes that such relationships are always temporary.

– a message from the UNIVERSE

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