Do you know that I wanted so much to hate you but I can’t? You make my heart beat twice as much even with just a smile, one ring or one SMS from you. I know I have no right to feel like this knowing you’re not even mine and can’t be mine even if I wait till eternity coz’ you have already set your heart on someone else and somewhere else. At this point, I wish I have the capacity to stop this feeling and just let it fade away as if nothing had happened.
But how can I when we have had a lot of wonderful memories together? You don’t know and you’ll never know how happy I am every single second we were together. You’ll never know how I laugh my heart out every single joke you crack or how I enjoyed being with you whenever, wherever or whatever.
Why did you make me feel as if there was something between us from the very start? Or was I just too assuming? Perhaps I only have myself to blame. I know our relationship had its share of ups and downs but I thought we were able to go past that stage. Now, I wonder what happened. You barely communicate with me. I missed those late night conversations, our never ending escapades, late night movies and so much more. How I wish we could make more memories together. Should I be content stalking you on Facebook, Twitter, or other social networking sites and on your Blogs?
I wish you’d realize I am not just one of your many toys that you will pick up and play with when you have nothing to do or when there’s no one else around. I’m a human being and I have feelings, and right now, I am hurting, terribly hurting. I realized, I shouldn’t have fallen for you but I guess now is too late for I just did.
Does falling in love really hurt this way? Oh, dear me, I shouldn’t ask you in the first place for you are the type who is incapable of loving so how will you ever find answers to my questions? Or maybe, these are just my thoughts. Reality check tells me I should bid you farewell, and this I’ll try very hard to do: to stay away from you. It may be too difficult at this stage but I should not allow you to charm me again. Should we meet again, I pray I am really over you.
It is hard to hold on to something that you know will never be yours in anyway you think of. You just have to learn to let go and face the fact that while good things never last, some don’t even start.